Army Aspirations

We got a knock at the door this afternoon. I went downstairs to find a young Army soldier dressed in camo fatigues at our front door. "I'm looking for Elvis Burke" he said ernestly. I tried not to laugh when I said, "Umm, I'm not sure if Elvis is what you're looking for, he's our dog."

I have to wonder what was going through his mind as he was walking up the path to the house, looking at the name on his clipboard, "Elvis Burke." I wonder what kind of person he was picturing in his mind, surely he didn't think I was Elvis Burke when I opened the door. Now, while I'm sure Elvis would make a good soldier, with his natural pack leading abilities, I don't think Elvis would do so well in basic training unless he was rewarded with a cookie every few minutes. Elvis also has the stealthy ability to vanish into the bushes at night when you let him out to pee. When you go out to look for him and call his name, he becomes still and silent, like Rambo, making you think he's disappeared. So I think he'd be good at psycological warfare. Elvis also protects the house daily from mailman attacks, standing on the back of the couch, peering out the window like a sentinel, just waiting for the mailman to make a move towards the front door. The moment the mailman slips that mail through the slot, Elvis attacks the offending envelops with the tenacity of a dog 5 times his size, leaving bitemarks as warning to the daily intruder. I think Elvis would be good company for the soldiers if he was deployed to Iraq, however, Elvis' many daytime naps would probably not work with the Army's schedule.

I wondered for a moment had Elvis somehow contacted the Army by himself. He seems like a happy dog, are we not feeding his sense of adventure enough? Or did Elvis need to fulfill a sense of duty? (Probably more like a sense of doodie.) Undaunted by the obvious error, the soldier asked if I thought anyone else in the house would be interested. I don't think Evan would be quite ready yet. I sorta felt bad for the guy, at least he went a way with a good story.

Just a funny story I thought I'd share.