Tuesday, February 23, 2010

It's Hard


This winter has been a difficult one. I work as a freelancer in the film business, which is difficult even in good times, but this winter has been even more of a struggle than last. I've dedicated, (on and off,) the last 13 years of my life trying to succeed in this business. I have had no mentor, no formal training, and no one to elevate me through the ranks, but have somehow (against all odds,) managed to make a name for myself in this business. However, the recession, combined with a perfect storm of bad weather and bad luck have left me without gainful employment since November. Sure, I have a lot of prospects, and many 'irons in the fire' so to speak, but for the most part, this winter has been nothing less than a struggle.

A week ago today, I witnessed the birth of my daughter. It's something I'll never forget. No matter how dire things may seem in every other aspect of my life, the birth of my daughter wiped away all of those fears and concerns. At that moment, something inside of me told me that everything will be alright. Lately, since her birth, I've felt something so unfamiliar, that I almost didn't recognize it. I felt happy. When I hold her, I feel a sense of peace come over me. As if some other force in the universe is telling me that everything is going to be okay. She calms me, and makes all of my immediate concerns seem insignificant. A week ago I became a father again, but what's more significant is the fact that I am now a part of my own family.

No comments: